Weekly Lessons #4

Week 4! Woo! Almost didn’t make it, but here I am on this fine Sunday evening, word vomiting.  Gosh, what a week it’s been.  It was only a 4 day work week but it felt like such a long one.  So, let’s get into these good ol’ weekly lessons shall we?

– Baby steps are still steps forward.  For those of you that know about the blog we had during Mom’s journey, you may [vaguely] remember that the title of our last blog post on that blog was “Baby Steps”.  I clicked over to her blog which is still up on WordPress and read that post.  I briefly mentioned baby steps and placing one foot in front of the other.  Gosh, I needed that reminder.  I don’t like baby steps because they don’t feel “forward” to me.  They feel stagnant.  Then, I looked back at Mom’s blog, remembering what small steps I was taking at the ripe age of 20 and I saw how the millions of baby steps I woke up and took every day have brought me here.  As therapists, we want our kids to walk out of our offices in one week demonstrating mounds of progress.  As humans, we want to be there already.  We want the body, we want the marriage, we want the financial security.  If you’re like me, the fact that you aren’t there already sucks and the process isn’t enjoyable.  Sometimes we have to embrace the suck and push through, soaking in every single small step.  Oh, the ironic thing about this “lesson” is that I said this when I was a personal trainer and I say it to my kiddos’ parents. I flash a big, positive smile at them and say, “Remember, baby steps are still steps forward!” Yeah, I know–I should listen to myself sometimes (sometimes being the key word here).

It’s OK.  Just all of it.  This has been my mantra this week:  “It’s OK.”  Miss a lift? “It’s OK.” Had an emotional day? “It’s OK.” Felt the weight of the world on my shoulders? “It’s OK.”  I am all about having mantras and having things we say to ourselves, but I think I’m the one person who over-complicated such a simple task.  Hi, I’m Dani and I’m far too Type A for my own good.  I was hyper vigilant about my freaking self-talk.  Here’s an example for you:

I’d be lifting and going for a heavy lift that I’ve attempted [and failed] multiple times.  I’d walk up to the bar, place my feet where they needed to be and start the recital of the most complex self-talk ever. Okay, Danielle.  You know how to do this.  You can do it.  It doesn’t matter if you miss it.  Just pull, but make sure your patient with your hips.  You’ve done this lift at least 30 times this week.  It’s muscle memory.  Go ahead.  Hands on the bar, right there and right there.  Okay Danielle, you know how to do this lift.  You’ve practiced enough.  You got this. I’d miss the lift and yell some profanity, stomping my foot as I walked off the platform.  Well, yeah, you can still be in your own head even if it’s positive.  Sometimes it’s best to shut all self-talk off.  “It’s OK” helps me do that.  Because it is.  Nothing that I am encountering in this season of life is truly life-altering.  It is just OK if something doesn’t work out.  What a hard mantra to live by as a Type A perfectionist, but here we are, y’all, doin’ some major self-work.  Because it is just OK.  You know that Friends episode where Ross repeats “I’m fine, i’m fine” over and over when he is clearly not fine?  That’s me, repeating “it’s OK” over and over, just with fewer margaritas, unfortunately.  Man, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve had a margarita.  Maybe next week’s lesson will include, “I forgot how bad margaritas hurt.”  Stay tuned, friends.



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